Battle Plan

1. Cut the sugar
2. Only eat Breakfast lunch and dinner....
          - and if there are snacks in between only have fruit
3. Cut the cheese
          - I love cheese, but I really should not be having it because I am allergic to milk
4. Give myself smaller portions.
          - When I load up a plate, put half of it back
5. Be Confident!

Overall:
               Increase Activity
               Decrease Calories

I already work out quite a bit. 

I feel like I need to be more active about it though. 

I have let people who come with me distract me and pull me down from what I usually do.

Instead of just encouraging them with me. 

I need to be intensive. 

I need to get:

Dandelion leaf tea

Green Tea

Apple Cider Vinegar

Fruit

Veggies

Peppermint oil (and selfishly maybe some Lavender too)

Maybe, just maybe. This will work. 

I have the will power. 

I can do this.

I just need support and accountability. 

I lack support.

I believe people just do  not know how to support me. 

*CAUTION* Honest post

Well, ok, all my posts will be thoroughly honest, always. However, today is going to be more emotional and raw. ... and very vain.
Have you ever had one of those days... where, YOU JUST FEEL UGLY, FAT, AND DOWNRIGHT HATE YOURSELF?! Well, yea, usually I always feel fat and ugly, but today is just the worst! I may be a Christian, but I ain't freakin' perfect and I don't always love my body! Yea yea yea, God loves me for how I am, I DON'T! Ok, here, let me explain. I hate my body and physical appearance (though my short hair is rockin'), but I am fine with WHO I am. I think WHO I am got put into to wrong body seriously. I'm a skinny flexible monkey inside this fat, clumsy, ugly body! (not literally a monkey, but I love to climb around and be random) but my body does not fit that MO.

So the question is.... should I start doubling my workout? Go in the morning and at night? I just don't know  how to handle my upset and disgust. I want to treat my body better. I already eat my veggies, fruits, grains, and all that jazz. I exercise pretty much five times a week! So. I don't get, why I'm gaining weight. And no, for all you funny cliche people out there, I am not pregnant. Did a test to day to check that. ... so plainly, I'm just getting fat.

So........ I will make another post of how I am going to change this. I must first draw out a battle plan.

Magnanimous!

The Title is way cooler than this post will be.
I had to come home today because I was feeling rather icky during our Fundamentals class. I am now going to get a lot of homework done prospectively. ... First, I will finish my VCE (virtual clinical excursion) that is due on Tuesday, then I will work on my reading I have to do for my final in two weeks and two days. I also need to start studying for my ATI test next Wednesday. Basically, I need to get on the ball with things. I am losing my motivation and I need it to come back! I have been barely holding onto it lately.

At the moment, I am fixing myself a fresh pot of coffee! I am excited for eggnog, nesquick, coffee :) I know, SO FLUFFED UP! But I don't care it is going to be great! Then I will get on homework. I believe sleep will not be a close friend this week, but lack of will.

Already, just having this started, is going to help me keep my thoughts organized and maybe help with the fact I feel so lost in my profession I have chosen. I don't know why I am going to be a nurse, but apparently I am (since I am in the program).....

Moving Journals

Well, hello first post.


I have a livejournal, but I have a friend who has a blogspot instead. I feel like more people might read blogspot... maybe.
A journal is fun, but it's more fun when people read it. I won't broadcast that it exists...but maybe some people will find my life interesting... or something. Meh. We will see...
ook...


By the way, tomorrow will be my 91st day in the nursing program :)
Today, is the last day I will have to say goodbye to my husband as he travels across the state to live in his apartment with three other boys. In three weeks, I will get to see him again. My dad and I will be going to Pullman for Tyler's graduation, and for Tyler and I to stay at his parents hour with his mother while the rest of his family is at a ski retreat. We will be there for Christmas then coming home to Kirkland.

Anyway.
This is my last FULL week of classes.
Then DEAD week! (with ATI test)
After that FINALS!
AFTER THAT!! Going to Pullman to see TYLER :)

Alright.... it is time for bed for me... wow. 11:04! Can't believe it! I have to get up at six to do homework!