Well, ok, all my posts will be thoroughly honest, always. However, today is going to be more emotional and raw. ... and very vain.
Have you ever had one of those days... where, YOU JUST FEEL UGLY, FAT, AND DOWNRIGHT HATE YOURSELF?! Well, yea, usually I always feel fat and ugly, but today is just the worst! I may be a Christian, but I ain't freakin' perfect and I don't always love my body! Yea yea yea, God loves me for how I am, I DON'T! Ok, here, let me explain. I hate my body and physical appearance (though my short hair is rockin'), but I am fine with WHO I am. I think WHO I am got put into to wrong body seriously. I'm a skinny flexible monkey inside this fat, clumsy, ugly body! (not literally a monkey, but I love to climb around and be random) but my body does not fit that MO.
So the question is.... should I start doubling my workout? Go in the morning and at night? I just don't know how to handle my upset and disgust. I want to treat my body better. I already eat my veggies, fruits, grains, and all that jazz. I exercise pretty much five times a week! So. I don't get, why I'm gaining weight. And no, for all you funny cliche people out there, I am not pregnant. Did a test to day to check that. ... so plainly, I'm just getting fat.
So........ I will make another post of how I am going to change this. I must first draw out a battle plan.