My year of 2010

Well, I decided since today is New years celebration day that I should write about 2010. Since my mind works best chronologically I will start with January of course! That was last semester for me, and "last year". This type of thinking happens when you work in semesters.

January:

I most likely just came back from spending all of my break with Tyler and his family. After this break, Tyler and I really knew we wanted to get married. we just worked so well with each other. I think we were on the ski retreat for New Years day. Anyway, January school started, Tyler had his 21st birthday.

February:

Tyler and I went to see Bon Jovi! YEA! It was awesome, until that drunk person behind us puked up everything in their system and smelled up the entire place! ICK! I don't think else happened in Feb. ..

March:

Honestly, I don't remember much from March. Tyler and I were still long distance, it was harder this semester than last semester too. He came over here a lot more and he didn't have a car of his own for a few months. We would often go a few weeks without seeing one another and getting time to talk to each other was getting tougher and tougher. I had picked up a second job because I was sinking financially.

April

This month was close to our toughest. Tyler's parents weren't really on board with him and I getting married. We knew it was what our next step had to be. He did propose this month. Of course I said yes. But we did not want his parents not ok with our marriage. We were wrestling with when to get married. He was going to graduate in December. We could get married this summer, during December break this year, or wait til next summer. Logically we both knew we should wait til December, my spring break, or summer break in the year of 2011. But both of us knew in our hearts that we were suppose to get married this summer. Logically, does not make sense, but we felt God urging us to get married then. So, we started planning for it. 

May

My birthday, turned 23 :) YEA! I love odd numbers. I passed all my classes, was accepted into the nursing program at Northwest and moved out of the dorms with Tyler's help. We moved all my stuff to my parents house. Organized everything, got rid of things. Tyler went over for his summer class and then I drove over a few days later with my stuff for the summer and Korkie. We were going to spend the summer living in Tyler's parents basement. Korkie and I that is. Tyler had his own apartment out in Pullman, 30 minutesish away from Palouse. I believe my mother and dad also put one of our dogs down this month, Ginger. She had a yeast that was just eating away her skin and we could no longer keep her alive when we found her tail eaten completely away on the outside. My mother had done all she could do with medicines and diets.... there was only one more option. Ginger was in full blown pain and my mother did not want her to go through that. 

June

June, I was in Palouse still and we took a trip to Virginia Beach and Washington DC with Tyler's family. Rachel, Erin, Emily, Tyler, Keshia, Dad, and Mom. ALl seven of us. It was a pretty fantastic trip. Lots of fun many things seen. Really hot, and when it was over I think we were all ready for it to be over. I think the bridal shower was at the end of June after we got back. This is also when I picked up my dress. 

July

So July. We celebrated the fourth with my family, had a fun party. I believe I spent the month half with Tyler's family and half with my own. His mom found an amazing seamstress to fix my dress up because the place I got it from wanted to charge 120 bucks just to adjust it. I said NO WAY. And found a lady I paid maybe 40 bucks to do it. She was so sweet too and the dress looked amazing. I moved back to Kirkland to move into the apartment on Monday. Tyler came over on Tuesday with Joe. Him and Joe helped put our kitchen table together. Anyway, the wedding was on Friday. I don't remember much of this week to be honest. It was stressful, I did not poop for three days, and I wanted to wedding over with so I could be married to my best friend! 

Anyway, wedding went great and well. It was at my parents house and it was GORGEOUS there. Such a great day for a wedding. When the wedding was over, Tyler and I came back to our apartment, got out of our dress up clothes and put some freakin sweats on. I had been in that dress for 8 hours. I was sick of it. We went and got Teriyaki madness and watched movies for the rest of the night til we went to bed. It was a relief to finally have the wedding over with. The biggest thing in our lives next were all the gifts, thank you notes, and t hen..... the next semester apart. 

August

Honeymoon to the Red Wood forest. So most people think lots of SEX happen on a honeymooon, well, not when you're on your period... just an FYI =P 

Completely inappropriate but .... not too much! Basically Tyler and I lived together for three weeks and then we started school. ... He went to Pullman and I stayed here in Kirkland! Basically thats all that happened between now and December. 

September - December

Lots of school, lots and lots and lots. Tyler came over every weekend he could, which was often. There were some weekends he could not come over but it was not terrible by any means. I started clinicals in October, which I blogged about as much I could when I started blogging. 

I feel as if I do not need to talk about too much of these months given I blogged during enough of these months about multiple things. 

Anyway, I feel like it is time, new year will be here shortly.... It is not like people really read this much enough to really want to know what I did during certain months. 

Tyler and I started doing a work out video together :) I am enjoying it.... the gym is closed while the school is closed, something I am not too fond of so I make it work by doing videos for work out. I am glad Tyler is ok with going along with things that I do. It's nice being married to someone that just doesn't care! Because he is sooo willing to just do things and learn new things. ...

Ok, Tyler is watching the ATeam, I have decided that it is now to start going to bed. ... ... possibly. 

Ok everyone. Enjoy the NEW YEAR! 2011... and I just got used to writing 2010. ... I like 2011 though, it is an odd number! I love odd numbers. They are the best! 

Back From Pullman

Well, I am back from Pullman. That is why I did not blog at all for almost two weeks. Nobody reads this much anyway, so it is completely ok.

Anyway, it is the second week of break. Not sure I am enjoying it or not enjoying it. ... hmmm. Tyler and I are cleaning and getting things organized. ... it has turned into something really really fun. Hahaha, more goodwills runs in our future.

*many hours later after we finished all the organization*

Ok, so we took my ELECTRONIC labeler back.... and got the embossing one!!!! BAH!! So freakin excited. I labeled our pantry items such as flour, sugar, baking powder, granola, ... etc.. You know, those items you put into plasticware.... ... ok, anyway, I labeled them in Swahili and Latin... yea, Tyler got kinda annoyed but I do not think he will care too much since he is not the one cooking.. ever.

After all that got done, I read all our Christmas cards and am thinking about writing up Tyler's and I's first annual ever newsletter for how our life is going... but we really don't want to send it around Christmas time. We are thinking of sending it in March or April.... Don't really know yet but I really want to do it for those people who actually care.

Alright, lets move forward a couple of hours... meaning, half an hour... and Tyler and I finally sat down to eat our cold teriyaki left over dinner and watch some Star Wars. We watched about half an hour and someone had to get up and do something... Actually that same person got a bright idea to reorganize the bookshelf and label it! The other person was all for this idea, he actually liked it! Finally supporting my obsessions! .... in five minutes Tyler was ripping the books out of the bookshelf! Reorganizing that bookshelf went soo fast with two people working on it! I will now get my awesome Dymo Embossing labeler and label that bookshelves sections.

Also, one of our friends sisters... ok, her name is Stacie and she is pretty legit, suggested labeling all our cuppards with actual names..... sooooo I LOVED that idea. That way when I tell Tyler where things go all our cabinets have names! I could tell him this, " The bread goes in Jorhei." And in this he will be able to put the bread in the RIGHT place! Oh man! So many possibilities!

Tyler's sister Emily got me glow-in-the-dark stars for Christmas. I have to put those up all over the bed room. :) Tyler is totally ok with this too! I feel like Tyler really does not have his own opinions about how things should go, so how I want it to go just happens to be the way it is. His arguement is "You have amazing ideas... I don't" But when he does have an idea, don't worry, we go with it. He has had some really good ones too. He wanted to keep some things to use as bookends, and guess what... WE USED THEM! Pretty awesome.

I also finishes Elyse's, Jessica's, and Leigh's presents today. Now I have to finish my parents presents. Yes, I am late for Christmas, but seriously, I was not home all this time! Then I had to get this house fixed! So, presents are in the works. Plus, not many people are here anyway! May get together with Leigh while she is up in Blaine.

First, Tyler needs to get a job. He has a possible hope... but yea, we don't know... but he really needs one. Because we need to pay bills and such.

I am going to go now and Tyler and I are going to finish watching Star Wars as I name and label cabinets and make the labels for our bookshelf.

Fireworks.

Well, the first semester of the first year of nursing program is officially over. I took my last final 24hours ago. And here I am! Still at my house. Today is full of laundry, cleaning. getting some shopping factors to make gifts for some people. Do I know what to even get Tyler? No. Jerkface keeps saying he does not want anything. ... JERK FACE.

Anyway. I have to pack up today to leave tomorrow. But, organizing my house today so it is clean when we get back, cleaning up the fridge because there is food in it that may go bad before I get back, doing laundry, fixing gifts, but overall I am getting stuff ready and packed and organized for leaving tomorrow REALLY FREAKIN EARLY! With my dad :) To go over the mountains and across the state.

I am super excited to drive five hours or so with my dad and Korkie :) I miss my lovely puppy.

Look at that face!! GAH! SO excited to see my DOG! I get to spend over a week with that amazing creature! 

So, it is 9 am. I am going to get dressed and take my shopping list to Freddies and get this stuff taken care of. :) I have yet to shower because I still need to go to the gym at some point today, I am thinking around 11 I will do that :) I gotta eat something first and drink lots of WATER! 

Ok, so.

Today, last day here! I am really super excited to start reading my school books again for next semester though, not gonna lie. I always feels useless and lifeless after school is over. I have no schedule, nothing to study, and nothing to get done. In light of this, I make a schedule up. 

830: Get out of bed.

900: shower

905: dry off

907: have a naked dance party

930: fix breakfast

945: get dressed

1030: clean something

1200: have lunch

130: play with the squirrels

245: color and watch a movie

300: ponder what to do

400: eat a banana to go to the gym, drink water

500: go to the gym

630: get home from gym
700: fix cookies and dinner

     now what do I do???? 

Hahahaha, yea, thats my life without school!! 

Ok, gotta go! I need to leave by 930 for the store!  The above schedule is not todays schedule :)

Day 105

Well, today is the last day of classes for my first semester! Tomorrow, starts my finals! I have Social Issues and Health Promotion  finals tomorrow. Wednesday I have Fundamentals of Nursing final, and then Thursday is Faith Integration final. ... then Friday is getting stuff packed, cleaned, and finishing up Christmas gifts... all day!! WOOT!

Nothing really happening on my side... soooo... yea. Sorry. I think I have started to notice a different from all my working out though. Which makes me super excited :) I do 15minutes of Eliptical, Treadmill, and Bike, then weights and mat work! I think it is really working this time around. I like my me time.

Anyway, off to eat dinner. I need it! Then I am off to study!!!! With Jessica and Julia.

Day 104

So, this is the last week of the first semester!! I have finals to take care of! But I am super stoked to get working on those!

I am off to see my parents today (and my dog)..... I mainly go to see Korkie and Dad then try to avoid making cards with Mum... hahaha. I have a friend that would love to come up and make cards with my mother, but she . lives in a different state.

So Jessica came over last night :) I seriously love her. Quickly that woman is becoming a close friend. I just know she will not forget to talk to me like ms. Lindsay face! Hahah, I'm jsut teasing Linds... :)

Last night I was done doing a study guide and working on another one so I decided to take a break. I did this at 10 o'clock and watched Lilo and Stitch and started to color. I texted Jessica and told her she should come over! She did... :) Said she would only stay for half an hour... ended up staying for TWO! Hehehehehe. We had good conversation, I learned about her she learned about me. She is a very understanding person and see's the best in people, plus very trusting. I am very excited to have her in my classes. I wish there was someway I could help her study for our classes!

Anyway, I will type more later. as of now I really need to get dressed, pack up some homeowkr, and head to my parents for a couple hours. :)

Sigh

I really really need to work on being a better person. ....
sigh.

Day one-zero-one

Today is 101 of the nursing program.

My life is not going that great right now. It might be from the lack of sleep, excess caffeine, the feeling of overwhelming studying for finals, and the fact that I am burnt out. It is likely because it is the end of the whole semester... and almost time for a break but damn, I feel flippin useless. As always people, you will receive honesty from me. For lack of a better way to say it, raw emotion. Why? Well, this is what I would write in a real journal. To be plain and simple, I think I would want to dub this a night where I feel as if alcohol would be my best friend if I let it in my life much.

I'm listening to Pandora play my "The Killer's" playlist... I mean, who wouldn't like this guy(Brandon Flowers)

Well, I like this guy, and he sings pretty amazingly. 

WOW! My neighbors are still up, I heard their closet door open and shut! Amazing!

Anyway, how is Keshia today? Well, nobody really asked me that today, so I am going to tell you. 

I'M NOT DOING GOOD! I  need love... freakin a. I need interaction with friends, I need assurance that I am wanted, I need to know I am loved! I don't even know that my own husband loves me right now in my life. He is so distant (not even in just miles) but in his emotion towards me. I don't know what to do to tell him in any other words but what I have already said! Ok, I KNOW he loves me..... I'm just not feeling it.

On a happy note, I got an awesome squirrel ornament in the mail today. :) I liked it, I have factual evidence of who it was from... but I have my suspicions. This came at a good time today... it helped me realize I'm not alone right now. 

To sum it all.... Keshia is down, lost, empty, and wants to be around people. I might go and sit in the Aerie tomorrow even if just to watch people around me while I do my TONS of homework. I will also be goiing to the gym cause I need to work out... because I am overweight (even though BMI tells me I am close to OBESE!) I work out so much, eat right, and  yet I'm still overweight. It takes time time time (is ticking away). 

I can't wait to go to Africa.... when will my dreams be fulfilled. Was getting married the right choice? I believe it was.... But I don't want to settle for a mediocre dream! I want to fulfill everything that I wanted to do before  I was in this deep of a relationship! I want my life to be full and have a lot of adventure in it. I feel as though I am losing that because of 1. Nursing School. 2. Tyler is kinda lame a lot of times. I need new ideas, plans, thoughts, adventures, things to do. I don't want to settle for the possible, I want to achieve the impossible. I want to make it happen NO MATTER WHAT GETS IN MY WAY!! 

Remember people, this is a journal/blog. Raw emotion. My thoughts. I do not feel like I am a horrible person for thinking these things. I feel as though, thinking these things really helps me organize my thoughts and see how to attack what is bothering me ... and find a solution. I think in the year 2011, I will make a goal. One goal, not a list. But 1 thing I want to accomplish that year. ... besides the obvious of passing my first year of nursing. 

I had a friend tell me today, "We were all shocked by you getting married Keshia. Thought for sure you would be going to Africa alone and living your dreams." ... I am still going to live my dreams, married or not. 

I love these people. I love these children. Somewhere in my heart deep down is a caring person. I just am not sure how to tap into it. I need help reaching into outreaches. I need help getting my life straight and getting things prioritized right. I just with Tyler would man it up. I don't like this whole long term commitment thing to live here in the United States.... I don't belong here for the rest of my life. ... I need to move, leave, go somewhere new. if I could I would transfer to a different state for a different nursing program. 

Keshia has cabin fever. 

The long awaited post

FINALS!!!!


DEAD WEEK! 


ATI TESTING!!! AHHHH!!! 


*rips hair out*......wait.... i already cut it all off....... this always happens during this time of the year. 






Ok, well on a more serious note! I am currently at Starbucks with the love of my life (one of them at least) Ms. Lindsay!  I finished all of my clinical paperwork, all of my Pharmacology homework, my questions for my board game, and my health Assessment quiz(really hard this time around).....and I am now pondering what to do next. I really need to study for my ATI test that is up and coming on this Wednesday. I also need to get a HUGE portion of my study guides done!!! OMG!


Ok, well all that being said, I am first going to take a small break and update, whoever the heck even reads this, you on my life as a nursing student!
Today is day 96!!!!!!!! Ok, I think that is awesome personally.

We finished our last day at our clinical sites on Friday! I had the best day on my last day! This is polar opposite from my experience at the long term care facility. The last week was just slow and horrible. The only thing my pt did was sleep!!! That just does not do!

Anyway, I got to see a PICC line put in! I found a calling in life right there! Needles and blood were involved... so I was really happy!  Here is a link for you guys who are interested in knowing what I saw. PICC LINE VIDEO!

The procedure I saw was a lot more worried about the sterile field. I even got to help set that up and drop supplies onto the sterile field with the charge nurse. The nurse that was performing the procedure had  me hold the bottle of local anesthetic for her when she had to draw it out with the needle! Basically, I had a really good day on Friday. I got to administer medications two times! Once at 5 and once at 9, then was bustling busy with my pt all day!

Now, yesterday (Saturday) was super busy crazy full of homework. My pt had 30 medications I had to research and look up, plus her diagnoses, treatments, a care plan, and then to top it off the daily record that I had to keep. I also got to watch two amazing children last night from 6pm to 1am. The kids and I played together for a couple hours, then around 7:15 we read books :) During the fourth book, Maguire fell asleep on me. :) I finished reading the book with Penelope, since she was still very awake and then her and I finished tucking her brother in and went to her room to finish reading two more books for her :) She then went to bed and fell asleep very swiftly :)
I then did 6 chapters in my pharmacology book and finished all my paperwork. :)

Today I got a lot more homework done! Thanks to Lindsay, she helped keep  me motivated! I have to finish studying for my drug quiz I have to take tomorrow. I also need to write down, again, what I was going to say for my nurse interview.... I still don't know what the final is going to be like in that class.

Right now stickie notes are saving my life.... lists lists lists.... I have yet to even eat today! Other than a pumpkin scone, which fyi, was REALLY TASTY! I have also had more coffee than I think my body can, or even should, handle.

Anyway, I am going to go for now and work on my study guide now for my Health Assessment quiz, then go by the Market and pick up some small groceries before heading back  home to then go to the gym!!!

Hope this was an ok read... i tried to make it a little more personable... instead of a daily to do list of my life!

I will have a post soon.

Ok, so I was basically not wanting my blogging to go to a lacking....


Basically I wanted to let anyone who actually reads this know, I will be more wordy and able to blog something more readable and interesting

til tomorrow.... peace out.

Battle Plan

1. Cut the sugar
2. Only eat Breakfast lunch and dinner....
          - and if there are snacks in between only have fruit
3. Cut the cheese
          - I love cheese, but I really should not be having it because I am allergic to milk
4. Give myself smaller portions.
          - When I load up a plate, put half of it back
5. Be Confident!

Overall:
               Increase Activity
               Decrease Calories

I already work out quite a bit. 

I feel like I need to be more active about it though. 

I have let people who come with me distract me and pull me down from what I usually do.

Instead of just encouraging them with me. 

I need to be intensive. 

I need to get:

Dandelion leaf tea

Green Tea

Apple Cider Vinegar

Fruit

Veggies

Peppermint oil (and selfishly maybe some Lavender too)

Maybe, just maybe. This will work. 

I have the will power. 

I can do this.

I just need support and accountability. 

I lack support.

I believe people just do  not know how to support me. 

*CAUTION* Honest post

Well, ok, all my posts will be thoroughly honest, always. However, today is going to be more emotional and raw. ... and very vain.
Have you ever had one of those days... where, YOU JUST FEEL UGLY, FAT, AND DOWNRIGHT HATE YOURSELF?! Well, yea, usually I always feel fat and ugly, but today is just the worst! I may be a Christian, but I ain't freakin' perfect and I don't always love my body! Yea yea yea, God loves me for how I am, I DON'T! Ok, here, let me explain. I hate my body and physical appearance (though my short hair is rockin'), but I am fine with WHO I am. I think WHO I am got put into to wrong body seriously. I'm a skinny flexible monkey inside this fat, clumsy, ugly body! (not literally a monkey, but I love to climb around and be random) but my body does not fit that MO.

So the question is.... should I start doubling my workout? Go in the morning and at night? I just don't know  how to handle my upset and disgust. I want to treat my body better. I already eat my veggies, fruits, grains, and all that jazz. I exercise pretty much five times a week! So. I don't get, why I'm gaining weight. And no, for all you funny cliche people out there, I am not pregnant. Did a test to day to check that. ... so plainly, I'm just getting fat.

So........ I will make another post of how I am going to change this. I must first draw out a battle plan.

Magnanimous!

The Title is way cooler than this post will be.
I had to come home today because I was feeling rather icky during our Fundamentals class. I am now going to get a lot of homework done prospectively. ... First, I will finish my VCE (virtual clinical excursion) that is due on Tuesday, then I will work on my reading I have to do for my final in two weeks and two days. I also need to start studying for my ATI test next Wednesday. Basically, I need to get on the ball with things. I am losing my motivation and I need it to come back! I have been barely holding onto it lately.

At the moment, I am fixing myself a fresh pot of coffee! I am excited for eggnog, nesquick, coffee :) I know, SO FLUFFED UP! But I don't care it is going to be great! Then I will get on homework. I believe sleep will not be a close friend this week, but lack of will.

Already, just having this started, is going to help me keep my thoughts organized and maybe help with the fact I feel so lost in my profession I have chosen. I don't know why I am going to be a nurse, but apparently I am (since I am in the program).....

Moving Journals

Well, hello first post.


I have a livejournal, but I have a friend who has a blogspot instead. I feel like more people might read blogspot... maybe.
A journal is fun, but it's more fun when people read it. I won't broadcast that it exists...but maybe some people will find my life interesting... or something. Meh. We will see...
ook...


By the way, tomorrow will be my 91st day in the nursing program :)
Today, is the last day I will have to say goodbye to my husband as he travels across the state to live in his apartment with three other boys. In three weeks, I will get to see him again. My dad and I will be going to Pullman for Tyler's graduation, and for Tyler and I to stay at his parents hour with his mother while the rest of his family is at a ski retreat. We will be there for Christmas then coming home to Kirkland.

Anyway.
This is my last FULL week of classes.
Then DEAD week! (with ATI test)
After that FINALS!
AFTER THAT!! Going to Pullman to see TYLER :)

Alright.... it is time for bed for me... wow. 11:04! Can't believe it! I have to get up at six to do homework!